One month on…

As some of you may know, a month ago today my Dad passed away after a two year battle with cancer. At his funeral I wrote and then read a eulogy, since then I’ve been thinking about posting it here but never did it.

As it’s a full month, I thought this might be a good time to do it. It’s not really a communication thing, although I suppose you could class it as one, it’s more just a cathartic experience for me. Don’t feel like you have to leave a message, this isn’t a sympathy exercise either:

Hi everyone, I’d like to thank you all for coming today. This isn’t going to last very long for three main reasons:

  1. My dad would hate being centre of attention,
  2. I don’t want to be reduced into a blubbering mess too early in the day, and
  3. I’m almost certain that if my Dad was here now he would be telling me that I’m doing this wrong
However there’s one very big reason why I wanted to do this. In my 27 years of life I never once got the last word in with my dad…today feels like a great time to finally do that!

This isn’t isn’t going to be a usual Eulogy, most talk about heartwarming stories and actions which live long in the memory. However as most of you know, my Dad didn’t really do heartwarming…he was more focused on bluntness, honesty and always being right. Every story I thought about had some element of those three and more often than not ended with him being right, or at least thinking he was!

However, the one thing my dad always was…was my inspiration. Whether that was inspiring me to prove him wrong or make him proud I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today without him. I remember telling him I was going to take a year off between college and uni…he replied with the very considered and conversational response of…No! However, one term into Uni and having started smoking for a week and quit, drunk more alcohol than most people would in a year and been witness to a gangland abduction I realised how much fun I was having and apologised to my Dad and agreed he was right.

Annoyingly that’s how most conversations with my Dad ended, with people admitting he was right…although that was sometimes to just end the argument earlier! But, even though he was incredibly opinionated and wouldn’t take a backwards step in an argument he would also do anything for his friends. He always said to me that ‘you can’t put a price on friendship’. Although considering the amount of money he lent people, he gave it a good go!

Not having my Dad here is going to be tough for me and my Mum, we’ll now be able to watch TV and understand what’s going on rather than having my Dad’s commentary over the top. We’ll be able to cook food we actually want to eat rather than what my Dad wants and cooks for us as well.  But most of all we won’t have him anymore, and that’s the hardest thing of all. 

I’m going to wrap up now before I get too serious, I didn’t want this eulogy to be too sad or sombre…that wasn’t the type of person my Dad was. I want him to remembered how he lived…annoyingly, with no apology and most importantly always right!

Thanks

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About Steven Murgatroyd

Northern Social Media and Comms enthusiast.
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4 Responses to One month on…

  1. Jo Carr says:

    You had what most people always seem to miss in understanding their parents – a good grip on who he was as a person – not just your Dad. You’ll never be left wondering “but if I’d said this what would he have said?”. You know him and understand him. You probably still want to throw a chair at him from time to time but it sounds like he would have told you you picked the wrong chair! I loved reading your words. Thanks.

  2. That’s awesome Steve – thanks for sharing something so personal, touching and funny!

  3. Simon Monger says:

    Sorry to hear about your Dad, Steve. But from reading the above I feel like I know him!

    • Thanks Simon, I didn’t want the eulogy to be too sad and depressing. Tried to give a good idea of the man he was! I can stand up in front of senior people and talk comms all day, but that short speech was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done!

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